OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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