dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
