Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
