I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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