the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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