I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
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