I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
