All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
