only if we run a train.
done.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
