What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
