i barfeds in our rink
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
