this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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