I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
