The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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