doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
