It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
