they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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