i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
