Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
