i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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