You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
How's work?
Spinning.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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