how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
