Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
