it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
