chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
