Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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