dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
