Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
