break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
