I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
