5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
two words...techno handjob
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
