I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
