She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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