It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
