That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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