the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
