I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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