i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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