just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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