I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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