Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
