If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
