How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Can you bring me the toilet please
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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