i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
