It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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