He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
