i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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