Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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