Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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