if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
