is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
